His Secret Obsession: We Read It For You [Full Review 2021]

One of the best things about our job is that unlike most conventional readers – who read books out of passion purely as they have other things to do, we get to read a lot of books that are out of the box and rather unconventional.

His Secret Obsession is one of those books because we don’t fit in the expected demographic of its readers. But, that’s the fun part, right?

While we have noticed phrases like “His Secret Obsession Scam” parading the internet, we don’t believe it is. It has some interesting points that we think justifies its price. Also, we wanted to learn more about this mystery called “love” as well.

Although due to our keen interest in learning online we’ve taken a few courses on relationships – out of boredom sometimes, we think this ebook has some interesting takes on this everlasting enigma.

His Secret Obsession: A Brief Overview.

His Secret Obsession by James Bauer is for women who want to make their relationships better by understanding more about men.

Let’s talk about James Bauer first. He’s a trained psychologist and a relationship expert. So obviously, he’s the perfect guy to write about men in the context of relationships.

He has also written What men Secretly want, a book covering very similar topics. So, he’s experienced in writing as well. And to be honest, it shows in this book as well as he takes a more detailed approach to the burning question – what do men really want?

Of course, there’s a manipulative undertone in this book but then the market of self-help books are littered with such books. For example, How to talk to anyone by Leli Lowndes and the classic in the genre How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie.

In this book, James talks about something called ‘Hero Instinct’. Apparently, it mostly covers the masculine nature of men. The primal instincts of men like sex, hunger and thirst. The things that make men, well, MEN. We want to spray some Axe just by listening to ‘Hero Instinct’.

All jokes aside, James takes a very refined and comprehensive take on this trait and actually provides some insightful ideas to women for how to trigger it.

Apart from this, he talks about other traits of male psychology extensively as well. We will not spoil by putting the ideas here. You should get the book if you feel intrigued. But he talks about some techniques or indications that should help you steer your relationship better.

  1. Relationship Material

You may think this is the list of classic checklist items that indicate that the man is perfect for cuddling and go in hibernation with. But instead, it’s the other way around. These are some traits to pick up to make men think you are ‘relationship material’.

  1. The Private Island

Imagine an island you are stuck on and you are alone. But instead of dreading this place, you are actually in love with it. So much so that you want to have babies with it. Okay, that’s too far; but you get the idea. Ladies if you want to be that island for your man, this book got you covered.

  1. The Ex-Back Signal

Nobody likes breakups. It’s a mess and often leaves you emotionally distraught, but James has some ideas for those particularly reluctant women who are not yet ready to move on. We are not judging, We have been through that phase as well. Anyway, these signals and phrases will make your ex crawl back to you – if that’s what you want.

  1. The Glimpse Phase

It’s maybe one of the best things that this book can teach women. Imagine you met him for the first time and lo and behold, you want him to be really attracted to you. These techniques are to be used to make that man wanting for more – wanting to know more about you.

  1. The Damsel in Distress Signal

Everyone loves attention. No exception to that. So, if you are in a look-out for ways to make your man pay more attention to you, then these are some ways you can do it.

  1. I Own You

As much as negative and manipulative it sounds, it isn’t. This is to be used to make your man open more to you. To make him understand share his insecurities and secrets with you.

  1. Silent Action Signal

It’s time for the ‘Hero Instinct’! Yes, we spoke that out loud like He-man at the time of writing. Anyway, these skills cover all about how to use your hidden talents and attribute to drive up the hero-instinct in your partner.scam?

Who is it written for? Why and when should YOU read it?

This book is obviously written for women. Women who are curious about the convoluted mind of a man.

It’s a good read and many of the pieces of information in the book are extremely insightful – especially ones who are looking for it. It’s well written, comprehensive and not false. James Bauer is of course well informed about this subject and you can learn a thing or two even if your relationship is sailing smooth.

But we have an interesting take on this, read about it even if you are all settled grown-ups like us. If you have some time to spare and can bear to say “Well, that’s not me” from time to time, we’d not recommend it but kinda nudge that you should read it.

Some things we learned from this book amused us and made us reflect on ourselves. And you may even find some humor in it given that it’s not meant for you.

All in all, we recommend this book to women and curious bored men because it’s well written, well informed, spicy and an easy read.


Weighing it out!

Even though the book belongs to a “cheesy” and cash grabber genre which feeds on insecurity, it has some really thoughtful ideas.

Having said that, we don’t know what we were expecting. Even after being interesting, we always felt the manipulative undertone and never felt like it was truly different. It made more sense but still the “feeding-on-insecurity” was always there.

Buyers’ Guide

Self-help books are all the rage right now, helping you cope with various problems. From mental health to fitness, there is a ton of information on everything, but the trickiest of them are relationships. Thus, to assist you, the following points will help you understand why this book should be your pick.

  1. Lucid Language

It is written in simple, clear language to make it easy for you to understand a complicated issue. Relationships can be difficult, and while everyone has advice, it is best to rely on a knowledgeable source.

Writing in a lucid style helps you grasp the content better and paints a visual picture. You do not have the luxury of using videos, so the words must be able to drive home the point and fire up your imagination.

  1. Well Informed

Relationships are an important part of our lives, so it is best to receive advice from a well-informed source. And while a lot has been written regarding relationships in general, very few authors explore the needs of the individual partner.

This book deals with the intricacies of being in a relationship and offers researched information on observed behavior and traits. While it predominantly caters to women, it is sure to also have a positive impact on men. It compellingly presents the findings and explains each issue thoroughly.

  1. New ideas

Most importantly, it explores new ideas and uses new concepts to explain some of the prevalent issues. Specific problems are common, but new ideas or thoughts could help resolve them and make you better at relationships.

When the old way does not work, a new approach may open up some unexplored avenues, which could have lasting benefits.


Does it work?

This book takes a detailed approach to better understand men in the dynamics of a relationship. While it may not be foolproof, it does offer some interesting insights on how women can trigger certain traits in men to improve the relationship.

Can men use this book?

This book is predominantly written to help women better understand men. However, some ideas or topics could come in handy for same-sex relationships involving two men.

What is the concept of Private Island?

It encourages women to imagine themselves as a private island for their man. So, if you travel to a faraway island and there is no one there except you, it is scary, but at the same time, it is an opportunity. You can bypass the fear by exploring the island and may even end up falling in love.

What are some of the topics covered?

It helps you build a better relationship by addressing various issues through different concepts. There is the Glimpse Phase whereby women can entice their man to come back for more. There are other topics as well like Ex-back Signal, I Own You, and Damsel in Distress Signal.

Check out our recent posts as well:

  • Price
  • User Friendly
  • Writer Experience

Final Words

With that, I hope this review answered your questions about the book and helped you decide whether or not to get it.


  • Extremely well informed and composed writing.
  • Brings a lot of new ideas to the table like this elaborate discussion on ‘Hero Instinct’
  • The author is not some unprofessional money grab but has actually insightful ideas about the topic.


  • The manipulative undertone bothered me more than it should have.

One thought on “His Secret Obsession: We Read It For You [Full Review 2021]”

  1. Miss Flowers says:

    Hi Nicholas,
    Thank you very much for this. Loved reading your review and take on the book.
    All the best and love from the Netherlands.

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